Hoodoo, are You?
How many times have you been told to just be yourself? You’re about to go into a job interview . . .You’re about to go on a big date (a really, really BIG date) . . .You’re about to start at a new school, or job, or meet someone important (life-chantingly important), and what advice will you receive nineties out of ten? Just be yourself. Easy enough, right? Hmmm, not really . . .
Because being YOURSELF is in fact one of the BRAVEST things you can do. Ever. Being YOURSELF is the ultimate act of being human. It is finding that place inside of yourself that hasn’t been disconnected from: the true and deep knowledge of knowing who you are and what you believe inland what you can create and achieve and become and what we mean teach other.
It’s where the GOLD lives. And all those things sound really amazing, because they are. But they’re also absolutely terrifying. #Fact Being yourself means that you can’t hide behind anyone else–whether that’s your family or your friends or your community or even your Instagram profile. It means saying, this is me. I am right here, with every incredible talent and strength and fear and flaw.
Accept Life . . . All of It
After 9/11, David Letterman was asked to do the impossible: host his comedic late-night show just one week after the terrorist attack that had killed thousands of Americans. What jokes could the comedian tell in the face of something so terrible? He decided to tell none. Instead, he offered this . . . “There’s only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And I believe–because I’ve done a little of this myself–pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing.”
One of the bravest things we can do is exactly what David Letterman did that night–he accepted reality as it was. He didn’t try to laugh it away or not host his show. He simply showed up. When we accept life as it is, we show up for it. And even if we don’t feel courageous, we pretend, because as Dave said, “Pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing.”
The Kindness Diary
You see, kindness is a two-way street. It isn’t just when we give. Kindness is also when we stand and receive. When we aren’t afraid to let someone show up for us. When we open ourselves up to being helped? And that’s scary. Because when we ask for help, when we become vulnerable enough to let people show up for us, we also become vulnerable to being hurt. Because throughout my travels, the hardest part wasn’t getting people to say yes, the hardest part was asking them for help.
But when we leave fear at home, and we walk out into the world, a world filled with adventure, with the willingness to share ourselves, we discover something even wilder: The world SHARES itself with us. Like . . . all the time. Because here is the wildest truth of all: Whether we realize it or not, every minute we make the decision to be kind, to ask for kindness, to show up, we are choosing to The FIRST rule of The Kindness Diary is that you ask for kindness. The SECOND rule of The Kindness Diary is that you offer kindness.
Burn your Ships
Historians say that when the conquistadors reached “new” and foreign lands, they would intentionally sink their own ships. They did this because they knew that, unless they got rid of the safety net that their ships represented, everyone on board would be tempted to give in to fear, and jump beckon board to sail away. Instead, by scuttling the ships (the fancy term for sinking), they were forced to confront whatever unknowns lay ahead. They had to move forward in their journey. Now . . .Setting aside the horrible tales of the conquistadors . . .Sometimes we all have to find ways to scuttle our ships. We have to figure out how to not only overcome fear, but to embrace it.
We have to give ourselves no option but to go through with the plan. Because here is the funny thing about fear: often when we feel it the most, it’s because we’re so close to the adventure we’re supposed to have. An arrow cannot move forward without first being drawn back. The fear is actually a deep knowing that we are about to receive a gift, but because we don’t know what that gift is, we become terrified. Embracing fear is one of the bravest things we can do–and one of the most human. Ready to embrace yours? Because it’s time to burn your ships.
Take a Break
Bravery is also about resting, about getting quiet enough that we can hear what we really need . . .And then being willing to give that GIFT of what we need to ourselves. If you want to see if your Bravery Buddy wants to join you in taking a break, great! You can even ask one of your friends or a family member–you can take a break together . . .Either way, make sure you’re taking a break effectively: turn off the TV, put away your phone, give yourself a break from all the things we have to do and know and be. Only then will you be able to see all the invitations calling you.
If a bird is chirping outside, go listen to it. If it flies away, see where you can follow it. Follow the signs. Wake up and let the day take you. You don’t have to run the errands . . .You don’t have to fix the thing that is broken . . .You don’t have to do anything but . . .GO OUT THERE AND EXPLORE. Even for just a couple of hours, let yourself be a kid again . . .