Non-Romantic Break Ups
1.Odds are, the person breaking up with you cares a lot about you. In fact, they’ve probably been trying to care a little less. So before you try to dismiss their hurt, push all the blame onto them, or start begging for forgiveness, take a step back and enjoy some space.
2.Although you may not choose the break up, you have a choice in how you deal with the break up.
3.In order to figure out how this break up impacts you, make a list of feelings, thoughts, hopes, and fears so you can have a clearer picture of what you’re dealing with.
4.Find compassion in the process. Have you ever been the one doing the breaking up? If yes, allow yourself to remember what it’s like to be on the other end too.
5.Accept that you may never have all the answers.
6.Look at this break up as a chance for more personal growth.
The Ins and Outs of Breaking Up
1.Remember that breaking up is also hard for the person ending the relationship.
2.A failed relationship does not impact your value as a person.
3.Find a support circle. Don’t be afraid to reach out.
4.Old feelings will surface, so it’s good to have someone you can talk to, like a therapist or coach.
5.Take time to heal.
6.Avoid bad habits to numb your rejection or your guilt.
7.It’s not all your fault. But it doesn’t hurt to look at what happened and examine your role in it.
Relationships Gone Bad
1.It takes two (or more) people to have an unhealthy relationship, so although you play an important role in the unraveling, the other person knows they need to own their role too.
2.Try to really listen to what is not working so you can work on ways to enjoy your other relationships more.
3.Don’t fight the break up. It may be the best way to change the relationship as it stands.
4.Ruminate on what it is that makes you act the way you act. Is your role comforting to you in some way?
5.Appreciate the opportunity to learn from the relationship and say thank you for the other person’s bravery and respect.
6.You will be okay too.
Breaking Up Verses Taking a Break (Do You Need One?)
Want to see this as a break rather than a break up?
1.Back off: Don’t text, call, or private message someone after they’ve broken up with you. Let them be.
2.Enjoy the time apart: Use this time to put things into perspective. It will allow you to see your part in the relationship as well as to really assess if this is a relationship you want to revisit.
3.No begging: If anything, begging induces pity. You’re not looking for a pity party. You’re looking for a way to be a part of this person’s life.
4.Focus on you: Just like the other person has taken some time to focus on their needs, now that you have the freedom to see through the relationship, focus on what you need in your life.
5.Think about change: Before the break up, there were probably more hints or flat-out signs that this relationship was going south. What do you need to change to be in this relationship? Are you willing to make those changes?
6.Don’t be a doormat: You don’t need to be in a relationship with someone who sets restrictions on how you need to act or who you need to be in order to be around them. While changing bad habits is important, not being able to be yourself isn’t going to work for you either.
Best Friends Forever No More
1.You are not alone. Almost everybody has experienced at least one break up with a friend, and even those who have broken up with someone get broken up with too.
2.Take your time to process with your friends, your family, and others you can talk to about what they saw about the relationship and the roles you two played in the dissolution of your friendship.
3.Meditate or find other peaceful ways for introspection.
4.Try new experiences. Not only will this make you less likely to run into your frenemy, but you’ll be also opening yourself up to making new friends too.
5.Write a letter to the person who broke up with you explaining your feelings. Even if you never send it, it can feel good to get it out.
6.You may be hurt, angry, disgusted, annoyed, relieved, or in shock, or perhaps you’ve just accepted the break up, but even with acceptance, you may not be okay with how it all ended. And that’s okay
Breaking Up with Family
1.Adult children sometimes need or want space for their own growth and change. Sometimes they just need to feel separate. Either way, giving your child space could be very useful to their development.
2.Be respectful. Listen and be interested in what your child has to say. If you can see their desire for change as a growth opportunity, you have the potential to be closer down the road.
3.If your family member ends contact with you, express empathy. Tell them, “It’s clear that you need this, and I don’t want you to feel guilty about it. I know you wouldn’t do this unless you felt like it was in your best interest to do so. When you’re ready to have contact, I’ll be here, and the door will always be open. If there are things I haven’t addressed yet, regarding your hurt and what you’re upset about, please let me know.”
4.Embrace the kernel of truth that there is something there you need to address.
5.You can stop trying to reconnect with your child, as long as the child isn’t a minor. If the child is a minor, you should continue to reach out because you have to assume that they may be operating under forces that are bigger than them.
Kissing Community Goodbye
1.It’s okay for people to disagree with your views. We all believe something that someone else doesn’t, so deal with your feelings about your former community member’s changing views.
2.You may want your former member back, but give them space to go their own way.
3.When you find yourself pushing too hard, reflect inward and determine why that push has gone to shove. What are you missing in your own life that makes you want to convince someone else that your way is the right way?
4.Talk to your community about your feelings, whether you are happy for the former member or hurt that they are gone.
5.If this brings up thoughts about getting out as well, reach out to ex-members and your own outer circle for the support you need to break up.