Finding Your Place on the Team
The closest bonds in life are always made when people have volunteered to participate. There’s an old saying: “You can choose your friends, but not your family.” One of the good things about any sports team or group you’re a part of is the commitment. Nothing is better than a volunteer army.
When it comes to anything that you join in life, what you choose to join and stick with and are successful at often have a greater impact on you than something that was forced on you, without the option to join. When you choose to be a part of something with other people who are choosing to be a part of the same thing, it allows you to achieve great things. Choose to be a part of something, surround yourself with good teammates, and work hard to achieve common goals. Any team you’re on—whether it’s a marriage, family, work, sports, politics, or church—is all about joining by choice and deciding where everyone fits on the team wagon. When you figure this out, the whole is certainly greater than the sum of the individual parts.
The Fear of Failure
Feeling stuck in life sucks. You may know how it feels. You want to move forward but no matter how hard you try, you just can’t. What’s even worse is you can see the road ahead but somewhere between your brain and your feet, the signal to move gets lost. It may be that you lack the energy and drive to get going. It may be that outside forces are holding you back. It may simply be that you’ve been striving for so long under your own power that you’ve run out of gas in the tank. People with no initiative or vision rarely get unstuck because each day looks pretty much the same as the last and the same as the next. It’s hard to get unstuck when you don’t have any particular place to be.
The truth is, too many people have no idea where they’re going in life so they’re unsure when (or if) they’ll ever get there. Everybody grows up with a dream, yet so many people settle for mediocrity. They drift when they should drive. They coast when they should cruise. They settle when they should strive. Have you been pulling the handle of your wagon along the same path but are realizing that, as you look around, the view hasn’t changed? Is your cargo becoming too heavy to carry? Can you see the finish line to your dream but don’t see a clear path to get there?
John C. Maxwell once said, “Everything worthwhile in life is uphill.” He added, “Going uphill requires intentionality.” When you aren’t intentional about your life, you’re at the mercy of the people and circumstances around you.
Create Your Opportunity
There are some professions where all you’re ever going to do is build an income. Take being a doctor or a lawyer, for example. There’s nothing wrong with them, but you have to figure out how to turn some of that income into an asset if you ever want the ability to walk away from the day-to-day of being a doctor or a lawyer. This is one of the great challenges many people have when they start a business. They haven’t ever thought this way—and sometimes it’s too late.
You have to decide whether you want to have an asset or an income. If you put your name on the door, all you ever have is an income that the name represents. Most people’s financial plan is based on developing some type of security. Let’s assume that’s your dream. The next question you have to ask is, “What does financial security look like?” What monthly amount or level of assets is required for you to feel financially secure? Do you need to be making $60,000? Do you need to have $50,000 in savings? That’s Step 1. If you have your dream and goal, what’s the plan? What steps do you need to take to get there? Is it possible in your current situation? You have to be realistic or find a new path to get there. If you’re flipping burgers at McDonald’s, it doesn’t matter how many burgers you grill, it’s going to be difficult to get to your goal, and therefore, you’re not going to reach your dream. Maybe you have to start a small business on the side or get a second job. What daily, weekly, or monthly activity will it take to meet your plan to attain your goal?
Seek Out Mentors and Get Unstuck
Everything you do in life requires intentionality. It’s important to remember that you are the one who defines your finish line. Changing tracks takes courage. It requires walking away from what you know into an uncertain future. It involves leaving the comfort of familiarity for the discomfort of the new. It may get better, but only after it stretches you and pushes you past your point of comfort.
Or maybe you’re living someone else’s dream. Maybe a well-meaning parent held you too close or pushed you too far, and now you find yourself doing something that doesn’t light you up or excite you. It may pay the bills and keep you busy, but deep down you know that you aren’t really controlling your destiny—you’re simply along for the ride.
The truth is that many people reach a certain point in their lives and sort of set life on autopilot and hope to coast the rest of the way. Unfortunately, you can’t do this for long, or you’ll quickly find yourself moving backward. There are too many forces pushing against you to simply sit still. When you work to take charge of your life, you discover another way. Instead of feeling stuck, you feel liberated. Where you once felt directionless, you now clearly see the way forward. No matter what’s happening in your life, there is always room to learn. If you’re willing to pursue dreams and goals, you can find the guides that help you see what you can’t see on your own and lead you to a better tomorrow.
Change Your Method, Not Your Message
Some people die at forty and are buried at sixty-five. You can learn and grow at every stage of your journey, but you have to be willing. You have to constantly put yourself in uncomfortable positions to be able to receive those moments. If you stay comfortable all the time, then the teachable moments become fewer and fewer. But if you put yourself in positions and around people who create opportunities to make you uncomfortable, because maybe they know a little bit more than you do about something or they’ve had the experience you haven’t had, you find yourself in new places. Hall of Fame football coach Lou Holtz said, “In this world, you’re either growing or you’re dying, so get in motion and grow.”
Are You a Participant or a Crusader?
Participants are part of the team, but their goals are personal, and self-preservation is number one above all else. They see the challenges of the past as insurmountable obstacles of the future. They are afraid to commit.
Mel Robbins, author of the book The 5 Second Rule, said if you have the instinct to act on a goal, you must physically move within five seconds or your brain will kill it. Sometimes, getting what we want in life is as easy as deciding. The problem is, many people won’t decide. “Your problem isn’t ideas. Your problem is you don’t act on them,” Robbins says in her talk. “You’ve got stuff to do and it’s not going to happen in your head.” You have to decide to become a crusader.
You’ll know a crusader in life when you see one. They are focused and battle ready. They are resilient and bounce back. When they fall, they are always looking up because if they can look up, they can get up. They understand the goal of the crusade and they have vision—they see the future. When we have a vision for our lives, it gives us a focus and a path forward. Every person on this planet wants to live a life that matters. They want their journey to be, if not epic, at least impactful. They want to do work that matters and make the world a better place. When their journey is complete, they want to know that they, and their lives, mattered. You may have the best of intentions, but without a vision and a plan they won’t get you where you want to go.
Are you willing to take on the characteristics of the crusader in everything you do? We have enough participants in the world. We need armies of crusaders in all walks of life. More than anything else, crusaders attract more crusaders.