Strategy 1 – Uncover & Clean the Wound
- Journal your pain
- Go to a counselor.
- Turn your story into a speech.
Journal your pain
- Have you been embarrassed in front of people? What happened?
- Did you ever put on the spot without being ready for it? How did it turn out?
- Do you have memories of multiple people making fun of you?
- Where have you fallen short of your own expectations of yourself?
- Why do you care so much about what people might think of you?
- What’s the most humiliating moment in your life?
Go to a counselor
If the pain is deep, go to a counselor, or a group where you can discuss what happened.
Turn your story into a speech
Use a simple structure – Intro, 3 points and conclusion.
Intro sets the stage for 3 incidents which are at the root of your fear of public speaking.
3 points are 3 stories that happened to you and how you felt.
Conclusion is how you’re going to move on and not let the past define your future.
Strategy 2 – Imagine the Worst
Get anxious, then gain control
Picture the environment in your mind. Think about the audience members. Try to get as clear of a picture you can. Try to pick the one that makes you the most nervous.
- Who will be there?
- Where will they be seated?
- Where will I stand?
- What will I be wearing?
- How many people are in the room?
- How big is the room?
- Will I have a microphone?
- Do I have a podium, lectern, music stand, table or, nothing in front of me?
- How long will my speech last?
- What mood will the people be in?
- What happens at the event before my speech?
- What happens at the event after my speech?
Answer the questions. Work yourself up. Get stressed. Now:
- Breathe Deeply
- Smile
- Take a moment to notice 5 details around you (to focus on present moment)
Write down Pros and Cons
Take a blank piece of paper and draw a line down the middle with PROS at the top of one column and CONS at the top of the other.
Be very optimistic about what will happen if you do well.
Likewise, be detailed about what could go wrong. Just be as creative as pros.
After writing down, think which of these will remain with you in 2 years. You’ll see positives have a longer shelf life than the negatives.
Strategy 3 – You be You
Discover You
When you understand you, it helps you be you? Identify your strengths, propensities, natural styles of development and aptitudes. Discover you. Then lean into your you-ness.
StregnthsFinder 2.0 and DISC (free test by Tony Robbins) are Mike’s favorites.
Watch Yourself
Watching yourself is awful. When you first start, you’ll be so embarrassed that you looked like that and said that. Few communicators enjoy listening to themselves.
By watching yourself perform, you’ll be able to coach yourself.
Listen to Other Speakers
Don’t just listen to one, no matter how incredible they’re or how much you connect with them. If you listen to one, you’ll become a clone.
If you listen to two, your attention will bounce back and forth.
If you listen to more than 3, then you’ll see peculiarities of each and be able to adopt certain skills as you identify your style.
Strategy 4 – Speak to One
- Arrive early.
- Don’t drink coffee or sugar.
- Stand 5ft away from the wall to meet people.
- Smile
- Breathe deeply.
- Connect with 3-5 people from the audience.
- Stay in the moment with people.
- Speak to people; not the crowd.
Strategy 5 – It’s Not about You
Plan to do more
- Can you send handwritten cards?
- What about calling some of the audience members before or after?
- What giveaways can you provide
- What about snacks, candy or beverages?
- Is there an item that fits your speech and can be handed out to even 1 person?
- Can you provide notebooks, pens, or books for your event?
- How about offering one free service to the group?
- Would a picture enhance your speech? A video? A token for everyone?
Listen more
Listening makes you seem more intelligent. Listening shifts the focus from you to them.
Speaking is not about you. It’s about them. Tailor your speech to them.
Discover their thoughts
- Why are you speaking?
- What are their needs and wants?
- How can you give it to them?
- Who’s your audience?
- What are their hopes and dreams?
- What are their fears?
- What do you have that you can give them?
- Why are they listening to you?
- What are they even more concerned about?
- What hidden worries do you think they might have?
- How can you add value?
Strategy 6 – Channel the Power
Preparation & Practice
Channel your power into preparation. The more you do, the more prepared you’ll be.
Exercise
5 days away: Do some exercise.
4 days away: Normal day.
3 days away: Light workout. Eat healthy.
2 days away: Go big! Exhaust yourself. Eat healthy.
1 day away: Rest. Eat healthy.
On the day: Light workout. Focus on stretching. Eat healthy.
Breathe
Practice breathing deeply ever days before your event.
- Sit in comfortable position.
- Place 1 hand on your chest. 1 hand on your stomach.
- Close your eyes.
- Breathe in through your nose.
- Be mindful your belly pushes your hand out (chest remains still).
- Breathe out through open lips.
- Take note of your belly going in.
- Repeat 6 more times.
- Open your eyes and smile.
Strategy 7 – Be in the Moment
Take in the details
Name 5 blue details in the room. If you learn to notice what’s around you, you’ll also learn to notice people with their needs and wants when you speak.
Create a gratitude list
Before you speak, take note of 3 specific things you appreciate.
Live it and Enjoy it
Lean in. Be present. Act on the preparation. Discard your worries. Speak to 1.
Remember its not about you.
Breathe. Smile. ?