Your parents (might have) effed you up… go for it anyway
Take some time to consider beliefs you’ve inherited from your ancestors. Most people never do this, they just blindly accept whatever is passed down to them. Not all beliefs passed onto you are useful for your life. Allow yourself the freedom to replace them with what feels right for you. If you don’t know, let your heart speak.
Lovingly accept your parents as they are and their lives, but know that this is your life. They forged their paths and made their choices, the baton’s now in your paws. Get excited about the limitless possibilities of your life. A million options are open to you right now, you just need to find where they are and present yourself.
No one else knows what they’re doing, either
There’s no rule book for life, and no one has figured out everything. We’re all just doing our best based on what we know. So remember this every time you see someone who seems to have everything perfectly together. You never see the whole picture.
The only constants in life are uncertainty and change. No one knows what’s coming and how to handle it. Neither can you. Get help if you need to (all kinds of therapy has saved many lives including the author’s). But above all, relax and enjoy the ride.
How to always end up on top
Take some time alone and create a list of ‘What I’ve Got!’ list. Make sure it’s long.
Delete all social media apps from your phone, and keep them off for one month. While you’re at it, read over your ‘What I’ve Got!’ list. Put it up on your walls, your phone or wherever you can revisit regularly. Knowing who you are and what you’ve got can’t help but keep you on the top.
So what?
The next time something or someone offends you, play with a ‘So What?’. You’ll see how good it feels.
Worrying about the future doesn’t help. List the worries and approach each of them with a ‘So What?’. See what happens. Are you still okay? You most likely are. Remember, this is about caring less without being careless.
Love yourself, especially when you don’t deserve it
Stop complaining about yourself and other people. Complaining solves practically nothing. It just gives birth to negative energy. Instead, start practicing positive affirmations everyday. Practicing loving little me whenever you need to create childhood pictures can help if it feels good to you.
It’s okay if people don’t like you
When you feel like you’re being targeted, instead of immediately assuming what’s wrong with you, ask “What’s happening to this person? Is this about me at all? Am I conjuring some stories in my head? Gossiping makes you feel good temporarily but it sucks the positive energy in the long run. And the people you gossip with are going to gossip about you in your back.
See the world through comedy-colored glasses
Put up a picture of a skill or cemetery on your phone for maybe a week. Take a couple of minutes and write down what feels serious in your life at this moment in time. Maybe it’s money worries, job security, health problems, unhappy relationships. Let it all out. This lightens the serious-seeming load on your shoulders.
Take a few deep breaths and notice how you feel about your worries on the paper. They might look real on paper but chances are they look a lot less scary now. And then, with brutal honesty, as yourself “Is this a fact or a theory?”
Second opinions aren’t better than your first feeling
Recall a time you trusted your gut even though it makes no sense. What happened? Write it down. When faced with your next big decision, ask yourself ‘In this moment, am I letting my intuition guide me? Be still and listen.
Your cells in your body are wise. Use that natural power anytime you need it. Your life is yours.
Great news: it’s your fault
True freedom begins when we become 100 percent accountable for our lives. In every turn of your life, ask yourself how you can turn a victim loop into an accountability loop. You may start taking action on the accountability loop in unpleasant areas of your life, like having a difficult conversation. Show up with courage and remind yourself “I will not underestimate my own competences. What I’m not changing, I’m choosing.”
Fall madly in love with rejection
What was the last time you were rejected? Find good that comes out of something you perceived as bad.
Fear belongs to one of the two buckets: “I’m not enough” and “I do not have enough”. Where does your fear belong to? Understand that rejection isn’t personal. It’s the opinion of one single person. When you present yourself to the right person, chances are the results could be different. Who knows.. a rejection is a step closer to a ‘yes’.
Ask
Asking can help you feel uncomfortable, selfish or guilty about receiving. Yes, a scary 10 minute conversation about your pay raise can put you off. But think about the long term. It’s beyond worth it! Keep this in mind. No one’s gonna throw something you want at you if they think you’re happy where you’re at. As Timothy Ferris said, “A person’s success in life can be usually measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.”
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